So you know: facts about married priests

About married priests

In 1980, St. John Paul II instituted a pastoral provision allowing Anglican and Episcopal priests to study for the Catholic priesthood after converting. A separate provision now allows consideration of the priesthood for men who have served as ministers in other Christian denominations. It requires acceptance from a diocese and express permission from the pope.

Diocesan vocations director Msgr. Scott Friend shared with Arkansas Catholic some facts about married priests:

  • The diocese supports the family: They are paid more than other priests to allow support for their wife and children (if they are younger than 18). “We have to also think about taking care of the priest’s wife should he pass first.”
  • They cannot remarry if they divorce or their wife dies.
  • There is nothing in canon law that prohibits a priest from hearing his wife’s or children’s confessions, but it would not be appropriate, much like a psychologist not having a spouse as a patient. The women said they have not and would not go to their husband for the sacrament of reconciliation.
  • There is no vow of celibacy: A seminarian promises celibacy during his diaconate ordination and during his priestly ordination it is a vow of obedience. “Celibacy is a Church law; it’s not a divine law,” he said. “There’s supposed to be moments of celibacy even in marriage. Celibacy is an important radical witness for us as Christians.”
  • Single priests will still be the norm: “It’s a radical commitment to Jesus in terms of giving your life fully to him. There’s a certain freedom that comes from that; you don’t have to make a decision about my kids or a kid in the hospital,” Msgr. Friend said. “Guys are very much made aware of that, this is what you’re choosing. To me, it’s a completely separate issue.”

 

How should parishioners react?

  • Be open: “I just ask people to be tactful and gentle when asking questions,” Msgr. Friend said. “Let’s not let petty, not well thought-out understandings of ‘a priest has to be this way’ keep us from receiving the ministry of somebody that Jesus has called to the priesthood.”
  • Appreciate the firsthand experience of marriage and family: “They have a wife, which is their greatest gift,” he said. “… They have family life experience; their homilies are going to be different because of that.”
  • Give them an anniversary card: “Maybe everyone pays a dollar or something to some restaurant so that they can have a nice anniversary dinner,” he said.
  • Grow in your own marriage: “You’ll see them out, they may be holding hands, don’t gasp. Unless it makes you grab your wife’s hand because you just have been overwhelmed by the fact that you need to be holding her hand too,” Msgr. Friend said.

Aprille Hanson Spivey

Aprille Hanson Spivey has contributed to Arkansas Catholic as a freelancer and associate editor since 2010. She leads the Beacon of Hope grief ministry at St. Joseph Church in Conway.

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