Know the difference between tithing and offering

Dear Dave,

My wife and I go to a small church where we tithe. The church is continually asking for contributions to other charities and causes, and we don’t have the money to give to them all while we’re sticking to our budget and getting out of debt. The worst part is that we get pretty aggressive pushback when we say no. What can we do?

Michael

Dear Michael,

I don’t react well to that kind of pushback. I would probably be nice a couple of times, but after that my response might sound something like, “Mind your own business.”

Seriously, I’d probably be a little gentler than that. But basically when it reaches that point, they’re saying, “I want your money.” And that’s really over the top. If it goes even further, and it becomes a question of you “digging deep” or not having enough faith, I might get un-gentle in a hurry.

Your first job is to provide for your family and take care of those kinds of responsibilities — which is a very scriptural stance. Once you’ve done that, then you’ll hopefully have the financial ability to move beyond tithes and into offerings, which are completely different concepts. Tithes are first fruits off the top, while offerings are from surplus — meaning that you and your family are doing well financially.

Another thing to consider is this: Does this church turn every impulse they have into pressure to donate or buy something, because they didn’t plan for this kind of stuff in the church budget? I’d start having a problem with the leadership if this turned out to be the case, because it’s a sign they’re not planning and leading well.

Hopefully, you can explain to these folks the reason why you can’t contribute to additional things at the moment and they’ll understand.

—Dave

Dave Ramsey has five New York Times best-selling books. “The Dave Ramsey Show” is heard by more than 8.5 million listeners each week on more than 550 radio stations. Ramsey’s latest project, EveryDollar, is a free online budget tool.  

 

 

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