Every time Betty Friend received Communion, she walked back to her pew at Christ the King Church in Little Rock, knelt down and pulled out a little blue book. She prayed as she gazed at the face of Jesus.
It was this kind of devotion to her Catholic faith that led her daughter Kat Friend to create a series of jewelry, including crosses, religious medals and other charms, like butterflies, inspired by her mother, who died March 1, 2013, from cancer.
“We go to Mass every Sunday and we experience a miracle happening right before our eyes. It’s easy to forget, but she never did,” said Kat Friend, 23. “She was enthralled with what was happening in front of her. She had such trust in God. I never saw fear in her eyes when she was sick.”
Friend has made a special set of 13 jewelry pieces for the Mercy & Me annual campaign by Mount St. Mary Academy, her alma mater, that feature various religious medals.
“It’s a way to give back to MSM and be a part of it my first year back from college. There’s something so sweet having the time with your girls at the school and learning about the Sisters of Mercy,” Friend said. “It’s been really exciting. Hopefully it’s used for years for Mercy and Me. It’s a pewter pendant; it has the mercy cross on it.”
Kirsten Dickins, director of advancement at Mount St. Mary Foundation, said, “We feel blessed to have Kat back at the Mount and see her using her creative talents to give back to the school and our community. She puts so much of herself into each piece to deliver beautiful products with sentimental value.”
The money raised from the jewelry, which ranges from $20 to $60, will go entirely to the MSM campaign.
Friend said she learned this kind of generosity while growing up in a supportive Catholic household with her parents, Dr. Gerald and Betty Friend, and two brothers, Patrick and Joseph, now both diocesan seminarians. Her uncle, Msgr. Scott Friend, is the diocesan vocations director.
Betty Friend’s faith influenced how she treated those around her and her upbeat attitude.
“She was serious when she needed to be serious, but she’d put on some music and dance in the living room. She was a little bit of everything. All the perfect ingredients to make the sweetest cake, that’s my mom,” Friend said. “When you knew my mom, you felt good inside. She could talk to you about anything all day. She was easy going; she loved clothes and looking nice.”
“I know this might sound cheesy but my mom was definitely my best friend, my whole life. I had the utmost respect for her. She taught me really what it meant to just be truly unselfish and what it meant to have unconditional love,” she said.
After graduating from Mount St. Mary, Kat attended Benedictine College in Atchison, Kan. In May 2011, her mom went to Kansas to take her home for the summer.
“She was like super mom. I had to go take a final exam and I came back an hour later and she has packed up the car and said, ‘Let’s go.’ It was Mommy magic — that’s what she always told me she had and I believe it,” Friend said.
Two weeks later, her mother had symptoms of mononucleosis or a cold, so she went in for a chest X-ray.
“She had cancer that had metastasized to her lungs. They removed her kidney and started chemo right away. She immediately felt horrible. That was the scariest thing for us because before we thought she was sick with a cold. Then it’s terrifying to see her sick in bed. It was a lot to take in,” Friend said.
Doctors had different theories on how long she would live — a month, maybe six months.
“We were praying for a miracle and we definitely got a miracle of time,” Friend said. “She lived 22 months. She could have been taken away two weeks later.”
During her illness, Betty Friend kept her upbeat attitude.
With Kat back in school, her sons in the seminary and her husband working, Betty’s friends, nicknamed “Betty’s Angels,” took turns spending time with her and helping her.
Kat returned home during the spring semester of her junior year to take care of her mother.
“It was the hardest thing I have ever done, watching my mom wither in front of my eyes was terrifying, but I knew God was there with me,” she said.
Her mother died at 49 under hospice care.
“I don’t know if we ever had that final conversation, but I think she didn’t have to say anything. She spent her whole life saying it and living it,” her daughter said. “My mom really taught my brothers and me, she said, ‘You got to keep moving; you’ve got to keep going.’ She made the choice to wake up every day and do what she could do.”
Since her mother’s death, Kat Friend said she’s taken her grief journey day by day, often talking with her mother.
“My boyfriend and I have an adoration hour at 3 a.m. Friday mornings. I know it was God and my mom and St. Therese talking to me one time saying, ‘You still have a relationship with her now.’ I have to talk to her, I have to listen to her,” Friend said. “I wouldn’t have the option of standing today if it weren’t for my faith.”
Part of her healing process has been her artwork, including a painting and sculpture series called “Death, Grieving and Rebirth.” She graduated with a bachelor’s degree from Benedictine.
“Art teaches me about myself. If I can visually get my feelings on a canvas, I can find the words,” to describe how she’s feeling, she said.
Wearing the bracelet her mom made her just three months before her death with the words “I love you” and inside, “with all my heart and forever,” Kat had an idea.
As a thank you to “Betty’s Angels,” she made pendants, casting the molds herself, to put on jewelry as a thank you, everything from birds with the word “soar,” to butterflies, and elephants, some of her mother’s favorite things.
“She always wore beautiful things with spiritual reminders,” Friend said. “She’d always wear elephant earrings. With elephants, when a female is hurt, the other females will lift and carry them along. She always said Betty’s Angels were her elephants.”
It became not only a healing experience, but a side business from her job as an art teacher for St. Edward School in Little Rock and as a substitute at Our Lady of the Holy Souls School.
“I cast a lot of my pendants with pewter. I make my own molds, a lot of religious figures like St. Joseph and Mary. I like the antique feel, keeping it natural. I use a lot of earth tones,” Friend said. “I never thought I’d be making jewelry, but it’s become a really awesome thing.”
People can purchase her personal line of jewelry called “Kat Friend Art” for $25 to $125 at Pout and Cynthia East Fabrics (both in Little Rock) and by e-mail at katfriendart@gmail.com. She also does custom orders.
Her Mount St. Mary’s Mercy & Me jewelry is sold at By Invitation Only in the Heights, 5914 R Street in Little Rock. An order form can be printed at mtstmary.edu and mailed to MSM for local pick-up or to have it shipped.
Though Betty Friend isn’t here to try on the jewelry, her daughter said her spirit is always felt during her creative process.
“I think she would just love it,” Kat Friend said. “When I’m in my studio working, I imagine my mom popping her head in and putting it all on and supporting me. I’d like to think she’d be really proud of me. She would definitely be my best model.”