Perhaps it was the nomadic elements of his growing up or perhaps it just took longer to divine exactly what walk of religious life he was cut out for, but for Brother Matthias Hagge, OSB, it was never about faith, it was about fitting in.
“I’m just so at peace here,” he said of Subiaco Abbey. “Even though it was a rather circuitous route that I took to get here, I believe God has finally led me where I belonged.”
Brother Matthias’ assessment of his journey to his Aug. 30 solemn profession of vows as a Benedictine monk is something of an understatement.
Born the youngest of three sons to Navy man Tom Hagge and his wife Donna, John Hagge would grow up devoutly Catholic and, except for his family, decidedly alone.
“Growing up in a Navy family, we moved around a lot,” he said. “I was born in Scotland and we lived in seven states by the time I graduated from St. Francis High School in Wheaton, Ill.”
Brother Matthias entered St. John Vianney Theological Seminary in St. Paul, Minn., following high school. He knew immediately that it wasn’t for him.
Leaving the seminary, he entered a conflicted and largely unfulfilling period of his life. After earning an associate’s degree in computer science in 2001, he landed a job at Texas A&M University in his field. While he enjoyed the work, he said he was miserable and fell out of actively practicing his Catholic faith. One day he finally reached out for help, calling the Catholic student center on campus in an effort to get back on track.
“I have a sight condition, which doesn’t allow me to drive and the nearest church was three and a half miles from campus,” he said. “I called to see if someone could give me a ride to church and that’s how things started.”
Brother Matthias not only found a ride but found a community of like-minded friends who reignited his enthusiasm for the Church. He joined the Knights of Columbus and volunteered as a sidewalk counselor outside a local abortion clinic.
After reflection, he enrolled in Trinity Seminary in Dallas in 2006, only to find that again, the voice calling him so clearly to a life of vocations was muffled within the confines of seminary life. It was then that he had a realization that would change his life.
“I realized that the people who had had the greatest influence on me were not diocesan priests, but the religious,” he said.
When in a casual conversation one of his friends — an Arkansas native — described the beauty of Subiaco Abbey, Brother Matthias was inspired to attend a Come and See retreat in 2008. He professed temporary vows in 2010.
Today, Brother Matthias (he shares the name with his great-grandfather in tribute) teaches computer classes at Subiaco Academy. He continues to discern whether to follow a path to priestly ordination.
“It all begins with prayer, because only God can tell us where we need to go,” he said. “But in addition to asking for the answer, you have to give him time to respond. That’s the best thing about religious life, you learn how to embrace the silence. It’s through silence that God reveals some wonderful things.”