Each month, a group of women gather to share their struggles and triumphs in the Faithful Friends cancer support group at Christ the King Church in Little Rock.
“It’s a bonding of women to meet the enemy head-on together,” 12-year breast cancer survivor Kathy McAlister said at the Feb. 1 meeting.
Whether newly diagnosed, in treatment or in remission, women with cancer can come, share, learn and support one another in the bonds they share in cancer.
“You don’t know what to expect. I didn’t realize there were going to be tubes. Somebody else that had surgery told me,” Caroline Henry said. “Coming to a support group, if you come before a lot starts, you get so much information. You can process it and know what you’re going in to.”
The group meets the first Wednesday of each month at 5:30 p.m. in the parish’s Ministries Building.
“It’s very comforting for all of us. These are the things you don’t share with everybody. Maybe not even a husband, a mother, or sisters. No one’s going to be shocked by it,” said Evelyn Menz, one of the founders of the group.
Some members can’t come every time, but they all keep up with how everyone in the group is doing throughout the month.
When someone new comes, the group focuses on letting her talk and helps her with questions she might have.
“It was my lifeline,” said Mary Lu Pabian, who was diagnosed seven years ago. “I didn’t feel like I had anybody at that time in my life. My children had moved away. My siblings didn’t understand. My friends didn’t understand. And these women understood. I lived for it every month. I know they thought I was crazy, but I lived for it.”
It’s not uncommon for them to talk about tough or intimate topics — even comparing scars or post-reconstructive surgeries.
“What’s funny to me not being a breast cancer survivor is that once one shows theirs, it’s like a flash mob. At this point, I think I’ve seen everybody here’s boobs,” said M.J. Orellano, who had Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
After all, these women know each other’s secrets when it comes to their spirits, health, bodies and the effects that cancer has on them.
Vicki Kovaleski and Menz found themselves diagnosed with breast cancer around the same time approximately 13 years ago. Then-pastor Msgr. J. Gaston Hebert encouraged the two to get together. He suggested they start a support group.
The two women are close friends now. The group, they said, brought them together and offered hope to them, as much as it does to others.
“It’s been wonderful that they come and see that Evelyn and I are still alive. To see women who have cancer and are still alive gives hope to someone,” Kovaleski said.
While they are not all Catholic or members of Christ the King, the women share common bonds of experience, faith and healing.
The women in this group carry each other on this journey, Angie Elser said. Elser was diagnosed more than three years ago as a mother of young children.
“We’re all at different spots in our journey. Some are out of chemo for 10 years. Some are just starting, so it’s just a good support system” Elser said. “Life gives you crosses. God helps you carry them. All these women here help us carry that cross. Each one of us helps each other.”
During the meetings, the women share their experiences, information, struggles and joys with one another. But their friendships extend beyond that.
“It’s so much more than just information, the cross carrying. When this group sees a need, the need is filled. I’ve been a recipient of a lot of love and caring from this group,” Orellano said. “This group is truly the hands and feet of Christ. They minister to people in need in so many different ways than meeting once a month.”
