During the first week in January, Abby Robbins, 7, walked into her second-grade classroom at St. Joseph Primary School to a great surprise: Wrinkles, the stuffed bulldog toy representing the school’s mascot, was sitting on her desk.
“She was very happy and just grinned and said, ’Look, I got Wrinkles,’” said her teacher, Tamara McMillan. “She’d carry him around … she was really proud.”
Since Abby had been doing a “really good job” in school, McMillan said she was also one of the students whose name was to be announced in the church bulletin and over the intercom Monday, Jan. 9, for the weekly “Bulldogs at their Best.” It would have been another happy surprise for Abby.
“I was just sad she didn’t get to know that,” McMillan said.
On Jan. 7, Janice Robbins, 63, stabbed her granddaughter Abby before setting fire to their home near Lake Conway, in what authorities have called a murder-suicide. Both died of soot and smoke inhalation, according to Faulkner County Coroner Patrick F. Moore.
According to an article in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, Robbins left a suicide note, stating, “I can’t stand to see Abby left behind … Pray for my soul.”
The loss has rocked the tight-knit community of St. Joseph Church, who saw Abby Robbins as an energetic young girl and Janice Robbins as a devoted grandmother and volunteer. Janice Robbins adopted her granddaughter in 2010 and raised her alone.
“We all just have to trust in God’s mercy in the situation,” pastor Father John Marconi said. “They were part of the school, part of the church. That’s the big loss we really feel.”
McMillan said Abby was very smart, imaginative and had the “brightest blue eyes.”
“She loved to sing and go to the movies. She did a lot of things with her mom,” McMillan said. “They would go hiking. They just got back from a cruise over Christmas.”
Primary Principal Matthew Tucker said Father Marconi spent time with each class Jan. 9, and two staff counselors were also on hand to speak with students and faculty.
“I’d like to think that they’re a little more resilient than us adults. The kids have done remarkably well,” Tucker said. “They’ve spent time drawing pictures, writing cards, some kids brought some flowers to put on her desk.”
McMillan said Father Marconi read “Heaven is for Real for Kids” for the students.
Father Marconi said whenever he saw Abby, “she’d grab a hold of me and hug me and say, ’I like you Father John.’ That was just the spirit of Abby.”
As news broke of the murder-suicide, Tucker said the school sent an e-mail to parents, along with articles on how to help a child cope with grief.
“We have not discussed (the cause of deaths), partly due to the age of these kids,” Tucker said. “I’ve left it up to my parents on how much they want to share with their kids.”
McMillan said the children have asked questions about Abby’s death, but not specifically how she died.
“Some of them wanted to know if she hurt and I just told them when that happened, that God lifted her up in his arms,” McMillan said.
Tucker said Abby, who had been going to school at St. Joseph for three years, was an avid soccer player. 
“She was like any second-grade girl,” Tucker said. “A very talkative young lady, she had a lot of friends.”
Tucker said he’ll always remember the one-decade rosary she got him last year for Christmas. 
“She knew I went and prayed one decade of the rosary at the preschool every week,” Tucker said. “I think that showed her love of Christ.”
The school held a memorial Mass for the Robbins’ Jan. 18 in place of the regular school Mass.
For the adults in the church burdened with questions, Kathy Kordsmeier, Beacon of Hope Ministry director at St. Joseph Church, said she’s encouraged through e-mails and meetings with several ministry leaders for people to share their stories of Janice and Abby and not to keep emotions bottled up. 
Kordsmeier said there have been misconceptions about what the Church teaches regarding suicide, which occurs when someone has a mental illness.
“We need to keep reminding ourselves a suicide victim doesn’t want to die, but the problems become so overwhelming … and they see it as the only way out,” Kordsmeier said.
Father Marconi said he has encouraged parishioners not to judge Janice Robbins.
“(A parishioner said), ’She’s condemned to hell because she went against the commandments.’ I said, ’How can you say that, are you God?’” Father Marconi said. “At the end, all of us have to rely on the mercy of God.”
Tucker said Janice Robbins was active at the church and school.
“She led our Moms in Touch organization, a group who meets every Wednesday to pray for our staff, students and schools,” Tucker said. “From my perspective, I wasn’t aware of anything.”
Father Marconi said Janice Robbins “saw some pretty rough things” as a retired U.S. Army nurse. After Janice Robbins’ son and Abby’s father, Staff Sgt. Terry Robbins, was killed in a non-combat dispute in Iraq in 2005, she adopted the girl.
Kordsmeier, who knew Janice Robbins since July, said in her “twisted” state of mind, killing Abby was an “act of love.”
“We can’t just consider the last moments of her life as representing her life,” Kordsmeier said. “If you knew Jan and Abby and are thinking ’Well, I thought I knew them,’ you did. Don’t question that relationship you had.”
As the church moves forward, Kordsmeier said she’d like to hold more educational sessions on depression and suicide and the importance of getting professional help.
“Quite often, I’ll talk to people who will really become defensive and resistant to the idea that they are depressed … resistance sometimes seems to come with a belief to admit to that, that they are weak and weak in their faith,” Kordsmeier said. “That’s a myth that needs to be dispelled in the Christian community.”