Susan Mariotti grew up in a small town in west Texas. She lived with her mother, who was Hispanic. Mariotti never knew her father.
At 15 she married, and by 21, she had moved to Houston, had two children, and taken a job to help support the family.
Mariotti described the relationship as the “typical Hispanic marriage.”
“He was seven years older than me. I was expected to do — cook, clean — because he worked. We were living paycheck to paycheck,” she said. “I had no outside friends.”
After 26 years her marriage ended, and she realized what she wanted to do.
“I wanted a bigger circle of friends. I had more interests,” she said. “I felt I was finally doing what I should have been doing when I was raising kids.”
When Mariotti retired to Waldron and joined St. Jude Thaddeus Church, she said she began seeing girls who reminded her of her teenaged self.
“She asked herself, ’What can I do to make a difference?’” said Kathy O’Brien, the church’s pastoral associate.
From her own childhood Mariotti remembered her eighth grade teacher, who took the students to a symphony and encouraged them to stay in school.
Mariotti met with O’Brien and Father Neil Pezzulo, GHM, pastor of the church.
“Father wanted to teach the girls to be young ladies,” Mariotti said. “They didn’t behave that way in church.”
After their discussion Mariotti decided to start a Young Ladies Club for the parish’s teenaged girls.
“Our main objective is to show them there’s a better world out there for them if they stay in school, stay strong in their faith and have respect for themselves and others,” she said.
In October 2007 Mariotti sent out invitations to the 12 high school girls in the parish. Seven responded and joined the club.
The group met at 5 p.m. one Monday a month. The club held some of its meetings at the church hall and some at O’Brien’s house, but many times the girls met at Mariotti’s house.
At the first meeting Mariotti shared her own story with the girls. Then she started the lessons.
The first habit she addressed was gum-chewing. She showed them how bad it can look to other people, and then told them it’s not allowed at meetings.
At this meeting she also showed them how to squat instead of bending over, how to sit, stand and pose for pictures.
“And they do listen,” she said. “I could tell they were hungry to learn these things. I can see myself in these girls at the start. A lot of them are eager to learn.”
“They start dressing up,” O’Brien said. “They feel good about themselves.”
Mariotti stresses respect for themselves and others, especially after hearing “horror stories” from local teachers about how the students treat the teachers and each other.
One of the rules of the club is “If I hear they’re not doing what they’re supposed to do, they’re not allowed to remain,” she said.
“(Mariotti) teaches them to have respect for themselves, but they earn it by being a lady,” O’Brien said.
Member Jackie Varela, 18, said although the club has taken trips and done a variety of activities, “what I really enjoy most is being around the table together, having a meal and doing the (club) tasks we have to do.”
Speakers have included a parishioner who showed them how to make chili and apple pie, a local baker who taught the girls to make icing roses and decorate cakes, and Mariotti’s husband, a retired professor, who spoke on geology and astronomy and let the girls look through a telescope.
The group had a formal meal for Mother’s Day, and the girls invited their mothers, who all came.
“At the end one of the mothers was just in tears saying ’Thank you,’” O’Brien said. “Most of the mothers had not had a nice dinner like that.”
“It reassured me that what I’m doing is a good thing. It’s very rewarding,” Mariotti said. “I think this is what God wants me to do.”
In addition to planning their own meals, Mariotti wanted the girls to experience being waited on in a restaurant. After attending the ballet, the group dined at an Olive Garden restaurant in Fort Smith.
“They were getting ready to clean up the table — they just had no idea,” Mariotti said. “I wanted them to see what it’s like to go somewhere besides Jack-in-the-Box. They all still remember it.”
Member Lidia Mondragon, 16, put her learning into practice outside the club when a school counselor chose her to be one of three students at her high school to attend a leadership camp in Searcy. The camp included a banquet.
“We had to show good manners while eating, and (the club) helped me because she (Mariotti) showed me how to use all the forks,” Mondragon said.
After a year in the club Mondragon is looking at going to college.
“It’s been a lot of fun. I’m grateful to Mrs. Susan because she has helped us a lot,” Mondragon said. “She encourages us to do well in school and do our best.”
This year the original group will meet at noon on Sundays, so the members who graduated from high school in May can still come.
A second group of 12 met for the first time Sept. 8. This younger group has girls in eighth, ninth and 10th grades.
Mariotti said the experience of working with this group has changed her own relationship with the church.
“The small community has made church a part of my life,” she said.
She wants the club to offer the girls a new experience, too.
“It’s a chance for a few hours they can be the center of attention and see a different world from their struggle of everyday living. Their families live from paycheck to paycheck. They have responsibilities with younger siblings while their parents work. They can come out, have a good time, see pretty things, learn new things,” she said.
O’Brien hopes the club can help the girls to avoid rushing into relationships, but she realizes it’s tough.
“The club is giving a vision. There are other things out there, you can have a better life, you don’t have to take the first way out of the house,” O’Brien said. “If it helps some of them, it’s worth doing.”
“At any age there are always men and the chance for marriage and family,” Mariotti said. “It doesn’t have to be today. It can wait.”
“I just hope they listen,” she said.
