Deacon Marcelino Luna has developed a new Hispanic youth program that ministers to the whole family. It is designed to help youth and their parents discover both the “lights” and “shadows” in each other’s lives so they can better communicate and learn to love and accept each other.
Luces y Sombras (“Lights and Shadows”) is typically a daylong retreat held on the parish level for parents and their children ages 12 and older. Luna, director of Hispanic ministry for the Diocese of Little Rock, has led three of these retreats with plans to present more.
He facilitated the first Luces y Sombras in December 2006 at St. Edward Church in Little Rock. He also presented the event at Holy Redeemer Church in El Dorado in January and then at St. Joseph Church in Conway in September. Another is scheduled for Dec. 29 at St. Raphael Church in Springdale, Luna said.
At Luces y Sombras both parents and youth are asked to identify their “lights” or strengths and joys in life, as well as their “shadows,” or the problems and challenges faced, he said.
“We make an effort for both to realize what each one goes through so they can get a better understanding and try to get along,” Luna said.
After an opening prayer and icebreaker games, the retreat team separates parents from their children. The youth are then separated again into three categories based on age. Youth ages 12-15; 16-18; and 19 and older all go into different groups.
Once separated, Luna said small group leaders ask each person the same questions. Parents are asked: What are your lights at home, at work, at church, or in society? The youth are asked the same questions, with school substituted for work.
Then the process repeats but the second time each participant is asked to identify his or her shadows at the same places, Luna said.
Small group leaders then ask participants to prioritize their lists from their greatest joys to their worst problems, he said.
After a break, all the participants come back together and each small group leader presents Luna with their group’s two lists. Then, Luna said, he shares the results with everyone and opens it up for discussion.
“You ought to see the faces of the parents,” he said, “or the faces of the youth. Sometimes they even get into arguments right there.”
“I have seen things come up just out of desperation. Sometimes it’s the kids, sometimes it’s the parents,” Luna said. “They can’t take it anymore.”
When that happens, he said he lets those involved “get it all out” and then addresses the issue by making both sides realize the pain they are causing and tries to get to the root of the problem.
The challenges that have come to light through Luces y Sombras are primarily a lack of communication or acceptance of each other within the family and not having a relationship with God. Other problems include lack of family time, neglect, alcoholism, verbal or physical abuse and financial stress, he said.
After the event, Luna said he meets with the parish’s pastor, religious and/or Hispanic ministry leaders to share what he thinks were the biggest issues that came out of the retreat and then helps the parish develop a long-term program to address those issues within the youth ministry group.
The programs are personalized for each parish and the talks focus on “bringing the issues into the life of Christ,” Luna said.
Five years ago, he said he developed a program similar to Luces y Sombras, but it did not work because there was no long-term follow-up in parishes.
At St. Edward Church, Sister Natividad Vazquez, MCP, has coordinated Hispanic youth ministry since January, which is also when she implemented the new program based on Luces y Sombras.
She said she meets with the high school youth group weekly on Saturday evenings at Capilla de Santa Teresita in Little Rock. Her program’s themes include family communication, self-esteem and Christian conversion. Once a month parents attend with their teens, and while separated, listen to talks on the same subjects as the youth, but for adults.
Karen Alejandri, 17, is a senior at Mount St. Mary Academy in Little Rock. She, her sister, Frida, 13, and parents, Patricia and Luis, attend St. Edward Church and all participated in the Luces y Sombras retreat in December 2006. Alejandri also regularly participates in her parish’s Hispanic youth group.
She said the retreat was a great bonding experience because it helped her learn how to communicate better with her parents. It also taught her what causes her parents stress and that helped her realize that she shouldn’t put so much pressure on them.
“Now when I start complaining that I don’t have this or that, then I start thinking, ’Hold on, before you do it, realize they’re trying hard.’ My dad works a 13-hour shift. They’re working hard enough,” Alejandri said. “I used to complain, ’Work harder,’ and they (said), ’No we can’t do it.’ I just realized to stop because they’re doing the best they can.”
In return, she said her parents are putting less pressure on her about school and are letting up on household chore requirements because they realized that MSM “pushes really hard and you really have to do everything. My parents saw my stress points and learned from that and they help out more and are not so demanding.”
Click here to return to the Catholic Youth section index.
