Churches can play a critical role in helping abused women get the help they need, the director of the Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence said.
Jayne Ann Kita, a member of Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Marche and an advocate for battered women and their children for the past 16 years, said she has seen many Catholic pastors and parishes successfully minister to women in abusive relationships and speak out against the sin of domestic violence.
 Tips for parishes Click here |
Today Kita acts as a liaison for the 30 domestic violence shelters in Arkansas and provides training to the paid advocates and volunteers. From 1998 to 2001 Kita was the founding director of the Pastoral Project on Domestic Violence for the Archdiocese of Omaha. Kita said the Nebraska program should be an example to other dioceses and religious groups how domestic violence can be addressed from the spiritual and moral perspective and how further violence can be prevented.
In Omaha the archdiocese learned during a survey that victims of domestic violence would feel the most comfortable talking to their minister about their situation, but there were no programs in place to educate the ministers and church staffs.
Part-time facilitators were hired to visit the parishes and help them devise individual church plans for domestic violence. Pastors were educated about the dos and don’ts and encouraged to speak regularly from the pulpit about violence in the home.
Kita warned the priests, “If you speak about this, they (the women) will come to talk to you.”
“Oh no, not in my church,” pastors would often respond.
One pastor, Kita recalled, wanted to be supportive of the program so he talked during his homily on the topic. He assured Kita his parishioners were from the middle and upper class and didn’t have these problems.
“He had six women come to him in two weeks,” Kita said.
Kita said it was important that the pastors and church staffs learned about domestic violence so they wouldn’t make light of the situation or give them the wrong advice. For example, asking the abused woman to go home and pray about the abuse would not help solve the problem. Also one should never ask, “What did you do to provoke the abuse?” Kita said.
“Ignoring the situation is not going to make it go away,” she said.
Also, couples counseling is never recommended.
“It’s not the couple’s problem,” Kita said. “It is the batterer’s problem … If you have a victim and a batterer in the room, the victim can’t say anything. She can’t speak honestly.”
Kita said the church staffs in Omaha were educated about how to find a safe place for the women and children to live and what legal steps are available.
“The most important thing the Church can do is speak from the pulpit … and send a clear message that domestic violence is wrong.”
The pastors were also encouraged to talk to the women about the Church’s stance on divorce in these situations.
“The Church says this is wrong and this is not acceptable,” Kita said. “You are not breaking your marriage covenant. The safety of human life comes first.”
It is obvious domestic violence is a problem in Arkansas. In 2005, 2,010 women and 1,823 children stayed in 29 shelters. There are thousands of other women who are abused each year but are able to flee from the abuser and stay with family or friends, Kita said.
Nationally, one in four women has been a victim of domestic violence. In 2005, 26 women were killed in Arkansas by their husbands or boyfriends.
“The shelters are all full and the deaths are up,” Kita said.
Kita can be reached at (800) 269-4668 or www.domesticpeace.com.
Tips for parishes
Jayne Ann Kita, director of the Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence, suggested five steps Catholic churches can take to prevent and respond to domestic violence.
Realize you can make a difference.
Have pastors speak from the pulpit about abuse.
Support victims spiritually and help them as they make future plans.
Educate parishioners about the truths and myths of abuse.
Have pastors or staff members willing to talk to victims so they know they have a safe, confidential place where they can get help.
“Every church needs to provide basic elements of a pastoral response: education about domestic violence, a moral voice speaking out and linking those in need to real help,” Kita wrote in 2005. “To continue building on the work being done, every minister needs to be prepared to respond to those who are victimized by domestic violence. They need to have insight into the causes of abuse and practical skills, so they can respond to it.”
