My parents were married at 7 a.m. on Sept. 19, 1942, in St. Mary Church in Jackson, Tenn. They chose the early hour so they could receive holy Communion at the nuptial Mass (fasting was required from midnight on) and later catch the morning train to Memphis for their honeymoon. Needless to say, marriage customs have changed since 1942, but the meaning of marriage has not.
Growing up I did not reflect on my parents’ marriage commitment, but I experienced it daily and lived securely in its embrace. As the youngest of five children, I was the fruit of my parents’ love and God’s love; I was reared in a faith-filled home; and I was the beneficiary of a sacrament whose grace spilled over daily to our family. Though both of my parents are now deceased, I still benefit from that grace.
Part of what it means to be made in God’s image and likeness is that we are capable of freely and consciously giving and receiving love. This loving give-and-take is a mirror of and a participation in the life of the holy Trinity. In fact, none of us would have either the desire or the capacity to love if we were not made in God’s image. God freely shares his love with us, and it is his love we give to others. In fact, love is the fundamental vocation of every human being.
Because we were not made for selfishness, it cannot bring us happiness. Maturing involves learning to put love and sacrifice into practice, finding the path on which God calls us to live out our fundamental vocation to love. Whether single, married, religious or priest, our deepest happiness lies in loving in the image and likeness of God.
When preparing couples for marriage, I always ask how they met. Needless to say, I have received a wide variety of responses! It is helpful for them to discover how God was at work in their meeting, their courtship, the maturing of their love, and their decision to marry. It helps them see that God’s role in their marriage does not begin the day of their wedding; he has been present all along, and he called them to marriage. Since it is his love they share, it is he who will sustain their marriage in times good and bad.
Blessed are those couples who ask God’s guidance already while they are dating, and especially as they are deciding whether to marry. May they never lose sight of the origin of their love.
The Bible begins with accounts of the creation of man and woman and ends with St. John’s vision of “the wedding day of the Lamb.” Its pages are filled with imagery of marriage, the example of holy couples, practical lessons in family life, and the invitation to explore the true meaning of marriage. In particular, the Old Testament depicts God’s relationship with Israel as a marriage covenant, characterized by exclusive and faithful love. Although Israel sometimes strayed from the covenant, God was always faithful. The image of marriage provided the backdrop for understanding God’s love for Israel, but the depth and faithfulness of his love also illuminated the true nature and demands of marriage.
God’s faithful covenant with Israel paved the way for the new and everlasting covenant in which God’s Son gave himself completely for us. He united us to himself in the Incarnation and saved us by his death, preparing for the “wedding day of the Lamb,” when the reign of God begins. (Revelation 19:7) St. Paul wrote that husbands’ and wives’ mutual self-giving is a mysterious foreshadowing of this marriage of Christ and the Church. (Ephesians 5:21-33) The sacrament of marriage signifies Christ’s eternal covenant and communicates its grace to husbands and wives. It is Jesus’ covenant of love, sealed with his blood on the cross, that makes a marriage strong.
Just as God is the creator of man and woman, he is also the author of marriage. Christian marriage is an unbreakable commitment precisely because it is an image of and participation in God’s never-ending love. In calling them to love, God gives joy to husbands and wives, as they care for one another, protect one another, anticipate one another’s needs, and sacrifice for one another. They discover the joy of giving oneself completely, without reserve, holding nothing back — that is the real meaning of sacrifice. It is within that embrace of committed self-giving that they find courage and patience in time of trial, for when spouses trust one another’s commitment and remember that God is the origin of their love, they can tackle every difficulty together.
Marriage is also a way of discipleship and conversion. Newlyweds soon become aware of one another’s faults and blemishes, but by following the Lord Jesus, they can learn to trust, to overcome selfishness, and to forgive. They are disciples not only as individuals — together they give their marriage in discipleship. In doing so, they discover joys that would otherwise remain hidden to them. They give themselves to each other, and together they give their marriage to God.
Do you have an intention for Bishop Sartain’s prayer? If so, send it to him at Bishop Sartain’s Prayer List, Diocese of Little Rock, 2500 North Tyler St., P.O. Box 7239, Little Rock, AR 72217.
God was integral to meeting your spouse
